Who is gonna do something as disgusting as peeing on herself at her job...

Okay, so did we not see how close Kyle and Kim got? Because I'm really confused about why Kim was so upset about her leaving. Almost crying, Kim? Are you serious? That girl was a big pile of boring, so unless she was giving you some on the side (and away from the cameras), I don't get it! That's just one less bitch for you to worry about.

And what the fuck is wrong with BJ Gillian? The chin? The cheeks? The wow!

That guy is serious. And yet, even with all those facial deformities, I was happy to see him and not "Mister" Jay giving these girls fashion advice. If Jay could have it his way, he'd make them all platinum blonde, turn them into guys and then make out with all of them. HA!

Stupid Eva. I'm not even going to spend time talking about how stupid she sounded while gloating about her "entourage". Because bitch has my dream dog, which I also have but mine is gigantore Yorkie and hers is all cute and normal-sized. And I'll bet hers doesn't eat her only form of self defense either!
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But I gotta give it to her. She is the only Top Model to ever do anything. Why, I saw her on the back of a magazine just the other day!

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I'm a little confused about why they need Top Models on Veronica Mars. I mean, I've never seen the show, but I've heard it's good. And I don't understand HOW it can be good if they've got Naima and fucking KIM on it. It makes so sense! And I really expected Lisa to do a lot better than she did during the audition. She cried, didn't she? nebula1500 said it was because she drinks four bottles of wine a day. Or wait, did she say that as a reason why Lisa was dressing up and wearing fake bad teeth? Hmm...
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I guess it could have also been the explanation for Lisa putting on a diaper and then peeing in it in front of a whole bunch of people... and the entire country. But that's Lisa for ya! So much fun!
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(no subject)

Last week:
  • Golden Tooth decided she hated everyone, including herself (dun, dun duuuun!)
  • Coryn got cut for being ugly
  • Lisa grew a bubble beard and made me feel like the youngest, non-leather faced twenty-three year old on the block
  • And Ty-Ty Baby turned white and caught gonorrhea just so she could make fun of Paris!

  • Yes, that's really her.
  • Miss Jay scored the crown for WORST HAIR EVER (EVER, EVER, EVER!)

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    Oh mama. More in a few...

    I will leave you all with a picture of Kyle crying about having to go back home and be a beautiful, seven-foot-tall wannabe model. Boohoo, bitch.
  • Wanted: Top Model

    I'm not going to be able to do a post about this week's episode until Monday, so I thought I'd share this lovely little somethin' to tide you over:
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    PS - If you post about this week before Monday, please please please put it behind a cut, because I haven't seen it yet. Thanks.

    Dumb Bitches, They Get on My Nerves

    Yes, yes. I know, I'm late. But give me a damn break. I've got an ear infection that's making me act like Elaine on Seinfeld in the episode where she steals Rob Schneider's hearing aid, puts it on, then the fire alarm goes off... Ouch and a fucking half!

    First of all, what the fuck was up with Tyra's voiceover saying that Sarah got cut last week because she got too caught up in being a lesbo with Kim? That's not what happened at all! Bitch had a fucked up face and couldn't walk a straight line to save her life - THAT'S why she got cut. Unless there's something Tyra's not telling us...
    Oh, and I thought I'd share a quote from orbitalocularit over at ohnotheydidnt:
    Our requisite flashback in sepia tone. Or in this case, our requisite snatchback. Poor Sarah. I bet she's been paging Kim with 143 every night only to be met with a numeric "whatev, bitch." I know what it's like, Lipsy Lohan.

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    Here is Your Best Shot...

    First of all, I want to present Kelle Ebony with "Quote of the Week" last week:
    You can't underestimate for one second one of these skeezers here. You can't. If you show weakness, they're going to pounce on you like a pack of hyenas to a carcass.

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    I made some icons out of Miss Jay's "Fashion Police Witch" faces. Take what you want.
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      sick miss jay

    Lost Notes = No Quotes

    Oh mama. I took all these notes Wednesday night (as per usual), but the BF used my iBook mid-episode to check his email and, well, to make a long story short, my notes were lost somewhere on the interweb, never to be seen again. Boo.

    But, I have so many wonderful, EXCLUSIVE pictures, you'll forgive me for my crapass update in no time! Collapse )

    I just wanted to take a second here to discuss "Mister" Jay. Who is he exactly? From what I remember, he is Tyra's stylist. But bitch has had the same damn hair style (and a bad one at that) since Top Model started. For real. Someone help him. And while you're at it, tell Tyra "fierce" is "lame". kthx